My mind has been scrambled the last couple days. I don't know why, it came on very suddenly. I've made massive strides over the two weeks before - I accomplished about six months worth of work over two weeks. I felt on top of the world. I wasn't even very tired afterwards, I felt good, ready to go.
Then yesterday, just bzzt - nothing. Foggy, almost like confusion. Couldn't focus at all. Strange. I said, y'know what? I haven't had a day off in a while, I'm just going to take the day off. Went and sat at a cafe and listened to some audio for about four hours, walked around and saw the city, went and had a massage, and then sat and ate fruit. Spend like 10 hours in a row just thinking and relaxing, which is good, I don't take full days off very often. I had some good ideas when I was out at the cafe and took some extensive notes, so I got some production out of it too without even trying to.
Now, I wish I could say, "And then I was recharged, and today I was awesome!" But no, I woke up in a fog again. Damn this. I track my time and have some routines to keep me running well, but I was foggy despite it, unable to focus really. Suck, what is this?
I was working, but it was half-working. Now, half-working is a big problem in my opinion. Half-working tires you out as much or more than real full working, but you get about 5% as much stuff done. Yes, 5%. Good work requires something like focus. It doesn't necessarily require the highest levels of focus and flow (though that stuff is very good), but it requires working through the mentally difficult parts when they come up. The worst part about half-work is you cruise through the easy enough stuff, then stumble on a difficult part.
This is doubly bad, because when you come back to your work, you're staring the hardest part in the face. This sucks, you need to kind of regroup and double down to get re-started while staring a difficult or complex part of work in the face. But again, I was in that mental fog and so I start half-working on it, and then I wander off again. And I try to come back to the work, but then - bam, there's this hard problem staring me right in the face, that I already failed to conquer twice.
On The Daily Vomit
So today while at work i started to think more about what I wanted to do with this blog space. I started to think that maybe a blog about me working out, losing weight, not drinking, and what not may not be that intersting. At least not every day. So I started to think about what other things i can do with this real estate. I recently took part in this musical challenge to compose, record, mix and release a 10 song album all in the month of Febraury. For the most part i suceeded in doing that, i have 10 completed songs i didn't have three weeks ago. But the toughest part of the project was coming up with lyrics to the songs. The main reason for that was I rarely ever write lyrics, so I'm not good at it. What I've been learning by doing the 750 Words writing exercises everyday is that you need to keep writing to get better at writing. I know, pretty damn obvious. So I'm toying with the idea of writing a poem everyday and publishing it on here. I got the idea from this page here:
She liked one of my first post on Word Press, so i fallowed her, and liked the idea she's going for.
Now I'm not a poetry kind of person at all. I've written some stuff over the years i suppose you could lable as poetry. Besides a Charlse Bukowski book and some Edgar Allen Poe, I've never bothered reading poetry, never been to poetry slam, and have never had any interst in it. So what makes me think I can even attempt a challenge like this? I've no effin' clue. But I figured it's something way out of my comfort zone, so that should be a good challenge. Plus I may actually write some stuff that will fit some of the music I'm writing.
I'm thinking of starting small, like just trying to write a poem a day just in the month of March, and see whether it's a success or failure. If I find it's something i enjoy, I'll see how far i can keep it going.