Willpower isn't enough.
I used to do it.
And I see so many people really driven people do it:
That is, they wind up getting aggravated because they're not already there.
Force of will is incredible. It can do immense, immense, immense amounts of stuff.
Maybe it's the most powerful thing around. Hell, maybe moreso than love -- because what's love, without the will behind to it to fully embrace it?
Will gets you moving, but time gets you there. And inevitably, there's setbacks on the way.
Of course, this won't many help people who are impatient and seeing things as unideal right now.
Maybe it'll click for someone though. Will? Great start. Then mix in some time. It takes some time. Consistent will applied over time.
Sucks, but it's true.
(PS: Beating yourself up over not being there already is counterproductive, so at least knock that off.)
Thanks for pointing this out. Time does suck unless you have the wherewithal to enjoy the process. Worst case scenario might be that one is consistently, zealously & willfully chipping away at ones' goals, when a new reality dismantles everything. It feels detrimental but as long as core values are solid, I think ideals can be adapted. A more specific & realistic vision must evolve in response to the change. Past efforts & experience become prerequisite. This is probably common sense but it recently happened to me. I adore your blog - it is one of the most positive parts of my day :-) Thank you.
Sticking to a project, gym regimen whatever is always nearly impossible when you don't find a way to enjoy it. You need to find ways to enjoy your tasks every day, achieve flow, whatever. Otherwise what you're doing becomes a chore and eventually your willpower depletes and you just don't want to do it anymore.
Just got a comment on "Having Your Own Ethics is Lonely" by a reader. He asked one of the hardest questions about becoming successful - what happens when you're improving when your friends aren't?
I found this blog because I'm looking for advice. I've realized four years ago that I was unhappy with myself. I lived a poor, and dead end life. So I decided to look closely at my lifestyle and eliminate some bad habits and replace them with good ones. I also got a second job to make more money, and lived in relative poverty by choice. And it worked! I'm healthy financially and I've gotten a chance to learn anything I've wanted to know. I'm strong and smarter than I used to be. I think I know what God is, and everyday I work to be better than the day before. But, I can't connect with my old friends because they do all the things I dont want to be a part of any more, because they dont care to do well for themselves as much. In a way, to put it bluntly, they're not usefull to me. I'd rather make friends with people I truely admire and respect. I dont feel like I can tell them that I basically think they're bad people. They've done nothing to harm me personally, but I want nothing to do with them. What do you think?
Indeed, that's one of the hardest parts about becoming successful.
Most people don't like to change after they get established. If you improve quickly, it can upset and turn off old friends and cause breaks in friendship.
Perhaps the worst time is when you're still on a shaky ground with your old improvement. I remember one time, I was going through a super healthy kick. Lots of gym, weights, very clean and healthy diet. But with one of my buddies, we always ate junk food together when we got together. Pizza, chicken wings, burgers and fries, stuff like that.
I used to dislike to work. I saw how most people lived their lives, slogging through work that they hated, and I was determined not to fall into that trap. I made the mistake of generalizing, lumping all work together in the same bucket.
Since then, things have changed. In terms of monumental personal life changes, becoming a hard worker is the most recent one I've undergone. About a year ago, for reasons I touched on in this post, I decided that it was imperative for me to become a hard worker. I didn't do it because I had suddenly fallen in love with work, but rather because I had began to feel as though I was behind. And believe me, it wasn't love at first sight.
To fall in love with hard work, you must understand why it's necessary. When I was young I was told that sugar was bad, but I never understood exactly why it was bad, so I kept eating it. Only when I learned how it chemically affected my body did I finally give it up. The same is true of work-- if you don't know why you have to work hard and love it, you'll probably never actually do it.
Work is your gift to the world. That sounds corny, but it's true. And believe me, you owe the world a gift or two. Think of all of the various things that millions of people around the world have done for you to enjoy the life you have. They made up languages, invented stuff, procreated at the exact right times to create your ancestry, and managed to not kill each other in the process. We're lucky to be here, and the high standard of living we all enjoy now is only because of those who came before us. Some, like Einstein, had huge impact, but even people you don't notice, like the janitors, are making your life better.