Thanks guys. Really appreciate Sebastian for sitting down with me and transcribing the conversation. A couple of great things to read:

The Willpower Instinct [book] Highly researched and fun to read, lots of citations: http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters/dp/1583334386

Self-Regulation and Depletion of Limited Resources: Does Self-Control Resemble a Muscle? [pdf] Landmark meta-study that looked at tons of research over the years: http://psyserv06.psy.sbg.ac.at:5916/fetch/PDF/10978569.pdf

Longitudinal gains in self-regulation through regular exercise [pdf] This is the study on habits and how it affects other parts of your life: http://commonsenseatheism.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Oaten-Longitudinal-gains-in-self-regulation-from-regular-physical-exercise.pdf

Hey Peter,

Jason here. Great question - groups/peer/social pressure or support can be a powerful way to get things done. This is why it's so helpful to have a co-founder when doing a startup, you are less likely to quit because you don't want to let the other person down.

I don't think it's wise to only rely on other people though because that's putting the control out of your hands and into someone else's. I do think social support is one of many strategies that can be used to augment your willpower and get you to do the right thing.

Jason

I do like this idea in general - as when you ask people why they do things, they'll often say "I dunno". However, I think there are many times where it's better to do *something* rather than nothing (eg going to talk to a girl at a bar). And therefore it's ok to engage in an activity without a particular plan of action and do things within that activity without a particular reason (eg make random conversation), though you *do* have a reason for engaging in the activity in general.

Sebastian,

I think you're really direct and that works great for you and many others I'm sure. And definitely if you can say something controversial that both you and your new friend believe in, you're off to the races.

I've found that because I read a lot and have done some work in a lot of areas, after learning more about what that person cares about, we can have a lively chat about *something*. But even if you're totally clueless about what they do, being genuinely curious will go a looong way.

Also I'd like to vouch for "me" cards. I have some printed from www.moo.com and they're great. One side has a quote that kind of sums up my perspective on life - "Some people follow their dreams, others hunt them down and beat them into submission". The other side has a picture of me (in case they forget what I look like) and my contact info. People usually get a kick out of that.

Cheers! Jason

Great post Seb. I think one thing worth highlighting is that good managers WANT to make sure that high-performing employees are satisfied enough with their job to work hard and deliver good results. Because high-performing employees are difficult to replace.

I'm not saying you should threaten to leave (though revealing that you have another offer on the table makes that implied). I am saying that managers will take the path of least resistance. What would be less work? Finding another "you" or figuring out a way to raise your comp. The more you can do to make the former hard and the latter easy, the better.

Great post Sebastian. This is such valuable insight and actionable advice - almost a shame you're giving it away for free. Talk about adding value.

Nice work Pedro!

>> “the task is to create the tallest structure, not the most beautiful or coolest, do you trust me?

Exactly! Focus on the rules that matter, not the assumptions that people have about how the game *should* be done.

You're right Sean.

One thing that's really dangerous in business is to try to "win" in every possible interaction (manager vs employee, company vs customer, company vs partners). More and more, corporations that succeed are ones that add a great deal of value to all their stakeholders.