hide

Read Next

Becoming a Person Who Helps People

Question from a reader -

Hi Sebastian, a question. I'd like to know how you came to be so... gracious. I've noticed that not only do you preach for others to spread gratitude, but you really do go over-the-top with it. It's a bit unbelieveable at times. But I have a good friend who is always very glad to see me (and everyone else). We aren't close anymore, but I always feel we are. I get the feeling you're similarly genuine. How did that come to be? Have you always been that way? I've been trying to be more thankful, but I don't want it to come off as meaningless as a forced plastic smile.

Well, first, that email totally made my day. Thank you.

Before I answer, I've got to pose a hypothetical question to you. Trust me, it's relevant:

Do you think it's more virtuous to do $5,000 worth of good for someone and get $0 in return, or to do $10,000 worth of good for someone and get $2,000 in return?

Unsolicited Encouragement / Unsolicited Advice

A while back, I wrote in "Six Steps to Getting Honest Critical Feedback" -

I think that’s true, but I still try to almost never give negative criticism to anyone, ever.

“As a general rule…people ask for advice only in order not to follow it; or if they do follow it, in order to have someone to blame for giving it.” — From Alexandre Dumas’s “The Three Musketeers”

I’ve found the vast majority of people will never take any criticism you give them, will be upset at you for criticizing them, and will dislike you even more if you were right.

[...]

Rendering New Theme...