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How to Connect Past Smalltalk

Awesome email here -

Hi Sebastian!

One of the 900 here -- and this is my FIRST time ever emailing a Blog. I was a little hesitant to write this actually, in part because I so enjoy your blog that I almost didn't want to "burst the bubble". But after reading a lot of posts and already having spent quite a bit of time previously ( and constantly ) in introspection, I would really appreciate your input on a major stumbling block....


My short question is: How do you connect with someone? And, secondly, based on your preference of doing away with pleasantries / small talk, how do you connect with someone without the seemingly required "pleasantry" stage of a conversation?

Condemn the Sin, Not the Sinner

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Picture: XKCD! http://xkcd.com/1176/

When I was in high school, one year I would sit at this lunch table from time to time. There was this one chick there that was a bit different, but whatevs. People at the table didn't particularly like her, and would sometimes talk shit about her behind her back. Nothing too bad, just normal high school stuff. Occasionally, I'd stick up for her, to the point people would notice. But I'd never join the shit-talking and I generally discouraged it.

It was all pretty minor, but one day she had some party- I forget if it was a graduation party or her birthday- and she invited everyone at the table except for me. I never talk the talk.

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