SEBASTIAN MARSHALL

Strategy Philosophy Self-Discipline Science Victory

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Letter: "I'm sure they wish that they didn't have to tell the computer things in an obtuse language..."

Sam DeCesare and I continue to have smart exchanges over email. He's kindly allowed me to share another set of his thoughts -

On an unrelated note, I just realized that you wrote the Defecting by Accident article. I've noticed the same behavior among technical people. It's interesting that someone will accept that to get a computer to do what you want you have to tell it things in a very specific way, but won't accept that you have to do the same thing with people. I'm sure they wish that they didn't have to tell the computer things in an obtuse language, but they don't refuse to learn how to program because of it. Computers just are that way, there's nothing to do but deal with it. People are the same; we're just wired to respond positively to sincere praise and kindness and respond poorly to insult and criticism. I suspect the problem is that we tend to blame and condemn people when they do things we don't like, and the purpose of blame is to make yourself feel better and absolve yourself of responsibility. If it's other people's fault that they don't respond to your frank style, then they need to change, not you. As it happens though, blame is completely unproductive, no one's ever gotten people to change by blaming them. So the frank and direct person never makes any progress with people.

Really, that whole excerpt is brilliant, and I'd recommend you re-read it thoroughly if you're skimming. This was the biggest insight for me -

"It's interesting that someone will accept that to get a computer to do what you want you have to tell it things in a very specific way, but won't accept that you have to do the same thing with people. I'm sure they wish that they didn't have to tell the computer things in an obtuse language, but they don't refuse to learn how to program because of it."

Sam and I previously had a little discussion on the topic of, "How much do people make their own decisions?"

Empower Audio + Analysis

Raphael from Empower Audio sent me a really nice email which is quite cool of him, shared a service the readers here might enjoy, and asked for some feedback. It's good stuff, let's get started -

Hi Sebastian,

I hope you are doing well.

I just wanted to say thanks for your blog and your helpful attitude on HN. I've mostly lurked but there were several points you've made on HN that really helped tip me out of a downward spiral (just getting started doing something instead of trying to make a huge ordeal about it), and I've found your blog quite good as well.

I was struggling with discipline and read your comment on HN suggesting to someone to just get started doing some small little piece, like taking a 5 minute walk. I immediately decided to take a walk and start doing so every morning. For the last 3-4 months since then, that one little thing has made such a huge difference it's really quite remarkable. I go on my walk every morning and listen to either podcasts or audiobooks.

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