A friend of mine set some goals for last week, and failed. His goals were realistic and possible, but he did not do them. He sent me an introspective email analyzing why. We had a good discussion on it, here's an excerpt of what I wrote him -
I understand. This really sucks. By the way, I still do this, myself. I still catch myself making the occasional fundamental mistake. The good thing is, no single mistake kills you (well, usually). Usually you can recover. Don't flip out when you a mistake, damage-control it and move on. How old are you - 28? You've got 10-15 years of mediocre societal programming, you don't get that out of yourself in seven days. 30 days, 60 days, you can take a huge chunk out of it. A year or two, absolutely you can almost completely re-wire yourself. But remember how you were saying, "Dude, I can do this so much faster than your timeline!" Well, I've been there. Shit like this happens. You're fighting some of your deepest, instinctual defense mechanisms to keep you alive. You've also got your toolbox of good instinctual mechanisms limited by society, so you're needing to create new tools. Basically, you've got all the disadvantages a caveman had (fear, nervousness, pressure), but you lose a lot of the advantages (unbridled, raw power, no rules, etc). You've got to make new tools - calmness, focus, intent. It takes a while. There's no shame in that - let me say this -
THERE'S NO SHAME IN THIS, IT'S NO REFLECTION OF YOU - WE'RE ALL BUILT WEAK, YOU'RE ONE OF THE FEW WHO ACKNOWLEDGES IT AND TRIES TO BECOME STRONG.
We're all built weak, man. Most people hide from it, deny it. That way they don't have to feel it. But you're diving right in, into your weakness, into your errors, into your unrefined patterns, into your fears... so you feel it. But don't mistake these things - these things are the weakness that everyone feels, there is NO SHAME in feeling it. It's part of being human. You need to feel it to conquer it. This is what I was writing in "Give me strife and suffering" -
This had me cracking up laughing. I added the bold for emphasis.
Avoiding Standard Error: Being a sloth and unreliable create such an asymmetrical negative payoff for what little upsides they bring you. So does fostering addiction or dependency, letting impulsions go unchecked, or being envious or resentful. So does not studying or taking seriously your susceptibility to the natural cognitive biases we have. If you set out to eliminate standard error, or things that can inherently cloud your judgement, you may realize the low-hanging fruit thats occasionally up for grabs.
Whole post is pretty good and insightful, there's examples of looking at non-mainstream ways people have broken into finance and Hollywood -
"Trailblazing" over at Sami Baqai's site
I see such an obsession with happiness these days. It's sad.
There's different sorts of happiness, but the one people seem after the most is the lowest, saddest form of happiness - a pleasurable mix of biochemicals.
Do you know how cocaine works? It's what's known as a triple-reuptake inhibitor. It makes some of the happiness chemicals - serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine - cycle out of your brain more slowly, giving you wonderful feelings.
And - so what? You've got more happiness chemicals in your brain so you bliss out? How could anyone in their right mind think this is the meaning of life?
I try to do things that I find meaningful, ideally on the largest scale I can. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying. I still need to get stronger in other areas, get more disciplined. But I'm working on it.
I'm a big believer in schedules and priorities, but occasionally I come across something that's really amazing. At this point, I engage in the amazing thing without beating myself up or feeling guilty over it.
Today I found "Learn Writing With Uncle Jim," an amazing forum thread on writing. It's written by James McDonald, and he's got a sharp, clear thinking way about him.
I'm shifting everything else back a little bit, because it's such good stuff. It's about writing fiction, which I don't do, but he's such a clear thinker that it's enjoyable and worth reading anyways. Highly recommended. Also recommended: Embrace it when you find something that's worth massively a lot even if it's not on your to-do list. The to-do list exists to serve you, you don't serve it.
I just posted a new article at Less Wrong - "Steps to Achievement: The Pitfalls, Costs, Requirements, and Timelines." This is a little bit longer and more dry than I write for my blog, but I think there's some very important things in here.
If you're interested in goals and achievement, there's quite a lot of meat here. I'm putting the full version up here and please feel very welcome to comment here on this topic, but also consider heading over to Less Wrong, grab a free account, and start participating there. As I described in "You Should Probably Study Rationality," it's a wonderful community.
Reply to: Humans Are Not Automatically Strategic
In "Humans Are Not Automatically Strategic," Anna Salamon outlined some ways that people could take action to be more successful and achieve goals, but do not:
On this coming Monday or Tuesday, I'll be asking the Director of Sales and Marketing at one of the most prestigious local businesses for $100,000. I have all manner of charts, research, data, and numbers showing why this is an exceptionally good idea that will have a fantastic ROI - and it is a good deal. But still, it's mildly terrifying to present in that sphere.
Part of what I'm going to do is go in and ask for a considerable sum of money, but I'm trying to build a different sort of relationship than most people would think. If they choose my company, we'll be producing lots of good work for high pay - but I'm trying to build something other an exchange-based relationship.
What's an exchange-based relationship? Over the last 10 years or so, researchers have identified two kinds of ways trade and interact and cooperate. The first way would be through "market norms" - this is where two people clearly agree to make an exchange, and deliver what they agreed to exchange, and the deal is concluded. The second way is through "social norms" - where you're looking out for each other's best interests.
Let's go over quickly what market/exchange norms look like and how they push out social norms - then I'll have some ideas and guidelines for your own life.
If you like digging into primary source papers, this one from 1993 by Clark and Mills is pretty good. If you're more into books, this was covered in Dan Arielly's book "Predictably Irrational."
The largest mental gains I made in the shortest period of time were from studying rationality.
I was amazed to discover a couple years ago that there were people who regularly studied and discussed how to think, how to get correct and accurate beliefs about how the world works, how to understand how your mind works, and to get at the real reasons people make decisions.
The whole rationality thing is as addictive as crack-cocaine for me. I love it. The difference from crack, though, is you grow stronger and smarter the more you dive in.
Our minds are funny. We humans, we're "adaptation exercisers, not fitness maximizers" -
Fifty thousand years ago, the taste buds of Homo sapiens directed their bearers to the scarcest, most critical food resources - sugar and fat. Calories, in a word. Today, the context of a taste bud's function has changed, but the taste buds themselves have not. Calories, far from being scarce (in First World countries), are actively harmful. Micronutrients that were reliably abundant in leaves and nuts are absent from bread, but our taste buds don't complain. A scoop of ice cream is a superstimulus, containing more sugar, fat, and salt than anything in the ancestral environment.
I had a crazy long and good day today. I had a meeting with a potential client to show the specs and research we've got, and I had a blast. Very cool woman I met from their marketing department. I was running on low sleep since I stayed up last night polishing, formatting, and making the presentation aspect of the research look sharp. There's a huge opportunity for the company we're pitching to, and this could be a massively virtuous thing.
My adrenalin actually got up for presenting, which was great. I love adrenalin. However, adrenalin withdrawl kind of sucks, and 10 minutes after I was out of the building I was about to fall apart like a pile of jelly.
Somehow I managed to find my way into Dung Tailor, who I wrote about in "Is it cheaper to fly internationally to buy your next suits, luggage, etc?" I tried on a shirt and pants they made up, and they fit so perfectly. I thought to myself - wow, I just presented some specs and research to a massively successful client, and I just asked for a lot of money in budget to build for them. I should probably pick up a suit, I haven't had a proper suit since I left my home-office in Boston for the road back in 2008. So I picked it out, got it all done up, and I was amazed - $250 for a nice suit and two very nice shirts. Amazing. The Vietnamese are skilled tailors too. Anyway, Dung's contact info is in the "cheaper to go international for suits, luggage?" post. Say hi to Ming if you go, Ming is really cool and speaks English well. Dung is cool too - very stately, great vibe, excellent tailor.
After this, I'm totally exhausted. I do the math and realize I've slept less than 4 hours over the last 30 hours or so. But I'm in a weird zone where I don't want to sleep, I'm overtired. Grr. Okay, I'll stop to get a massage with some essential oils. It's like $10 at the spa. And there is playing this really lovely lullaby music with harp in it. It felt like flying. And I said - run with it. Daydream.
So I'm getting the kinks and lactic acid battered out of my legs and I'm daydreaming about flying with wings. If I had wings, I'd go skiing, and go off a crazy jump, and flutter down. My mind wanders. I think I'll go to the Opera next time I'm in Beijing. My mind wanders. I wonder what Oda Nobunaga thought before the Battle of Okehazama? What would I be thinking? I daydream, thinking about torrents of rain pouring down while riding against an army 10 times larger. Dismounting and sneaking through the woods to raid the back of the Imagawa camp, the fighting breaking out in the rain and mud, slaying Imagawa Yoshimoto and seeing the ranks of the Imagawa troops dissolve, saving the Oda clan from destruction.
"Life is suffering," said Buddha. His plan? Release your attachments to this world and end your suffering.
I'm not with Buddha on this one. Give me strife and suffering. And once I have grown stronger, tempered, hardened by the strife, give me MORE.
Life is strife, suffering, struggle. Your body and mind are kept alive by a series of violent chemical reactions, your heartbeat, the acid in your stomach, the cells constantly breaking apart and dying as new ones are created, the battle towards homeostatis with different bacteria and cells combating each other, all inside your body.
Your mind - your thoughts - may come into conflict, especially when you're trying to do meaningful things. It's easy to feel the pull of distraction and ease, and to choke up and pause in fear when you look at the mountain you're set to climb. The mind is not in harmony, especially at the beginning. Struggle, strife, conflict, suffering.
I say - give it to me! But not so fast that it will break me. I must be pragmatic. We must be pragmatic. We have our limits. We can expand them over time. It's not brave to go into the gym for the first time and try to lift 400 pounds. It's foolhardy, unrealistic, stupid. Being pragmatic, aware of our limits takes its own sort of courage.
One of the most enjoyable things about blogging is I get to connect with a lot of smart people. I get letters and emails, and sometimes the person reaching out to me is kind enough to let me share their insights with you.
This one comes Andy McKenzie -
Saw your post: How do I write so much, you ask? Well, glad you asked from a friend's link. I like your about me and this post, like that you are self-tracking and such, keep it up man. Just want to say, you are not the only one to discuss the equal odds rule! Quick google blogs search verifies that there are at least a few: [google blog search results]. I myself have written a bit about it. :)
It is interesting to speculate whether the EOR necessarily tracks over well from scientific productivity to the blogosphere. I didn't really see that connection, possibly because I didn't really accept the EOR at face value, I read it in Simonton's actual book and I remember at first being mostly confused about the math he was talking about! But now I think it is mostly true over long periods of time and for largish groups of scientists.