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Day Two -- The Best Laid Plans...

Well, this is embarrassing. Day Two of my "Most Productive 90 Days Ever" was off the rails. I'll share why it happened to the best of my understanding, along with some best practices on what to do during bad days (some of which I abided, some I broke).

Here was my "the night before" plan for yesterday --


Wake around noon Morning routine, modafinil, etc. Write observations from yesterday on blog

1PM: Prepare questions I'm trying to learn and things I want to understand about the nonprofit space. Go through my email, reply call or write to everyone who responded, call people who were out of Beijing when introduced. Ask questions and/or invite to lunch next week.

Early On a Sunday Morning

On Where Pianos Roam

I had a little epiphany a couple of days ago while getting ready for my Cafe Coco show on Friday night. The question "Why do I do this?" popped up in my head.  By "this", I mean why am I in the music business--dealing with all the work promoting shows, scheduling practices, booking, website upkeep, practice time, lugging all of my heavy equipment everywhere, and all the little things in between.  It's a mountain of work particularly for a solo artist such as myself. Well, the answer, as it turns out, is the simple fact that I love performing music.  Especially now, after years of overcoming stage fright and figuring out who I am as an artist, I've reached this place where I LOVE LOVE LOVE performing on stage.  Something comes over me, and I'm not the same person that I am off the stage and the rest of the time. It almost feels magical.  I walk on stage.  I sit at my keyboard and this feeling of strength washes over me.  Inevitably, I still get a little nervous, but to me, this is perfectly natural now. Maybe this is what it means to be fully alive.  All of your senses are elevated to a sensitivity rarely achieved.  Your heart is on  your sleeve, and you're giving 200% of  your emotions and yourself. I've often felt that my music is more emotionally driven than anything else.  Whether a song is compelled by a feeling of longing, anger, sadness, loneliness, and even happiness (heaven forbid), I try my best to convey the emotion first before anything.  I guess this is why I get so exhausted after a show.  Not only am I playing like crazy, I'm putting all of my emotion into it as well. So, yes, I love this.  I love all of this.  My objective is not to be rich and famous (though I wouldn't resist it if it ever came along).    I want to create music that I am proud of and to  perform it passionately. I was glad to have this epiphany for my show on Friday night.  It made the experience more joyous and meaningful. Appropriately enough, I started off the set with a song of mine called "This Is Love".  It was fitting and proper for the occasion. This is love indeed. -g0rdon

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