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Let's Be Honest About Lying, Shall We?

A couple days ago, I told a Nigerian engineer to "Work online. Use freelancing sites. Lie about the country you’re in. [...] There’s a big stigma against Nigeria. That’s just reality, and you need to deal with it."

A reader replies -

I feel for this guy but I am surprised you recommend lying. There has to be another way. ... I have a problem with lying, period, and perhaps I’ve misunderstood Sebastian but I think he stands for straightforwardness.

Let's talk about this straightforwardly, like adults, like grown-ups.

Most people won't do that. It's inherently weird. Most people don't own up to the fact that they lie, yet almost everyone does so. A lot, actually.


On Alan's Journey

My fiancee, Fanfan, is Chinese. She's awesome. It's why we're engaged to be married. A big part of our relationship is mutual respect, and it's 'respect' that I wanted to write about today.

In the past I've had relationships with both Caucasian (western) women and Asian women, and after a number of different experiences I came to understand it was Asian women that had the kinds of attitudes I wanted in a relationship.

Over the years I had come to feel that western women just didn't have the attitude I was looking for in a relationship or in a partner. I had a number of experiences and realisations in my life that helped me realise I was more interested in being with an Asian woman than a western woman. The main reason for this was that throughout the relationships I'd had and the things that I'd learnt, what stuck out was that Asian women respect what their men do for them, something that in my experience most western women do not.

From my experiences with Asian women and learning about their culture, I discovered that many westerners misunderstand what they see as Asian submissiveness, which is instead respect and appreciation for someone who cares for them.

Something which is lacking in many western women.

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