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On Improving When Your Friends Aren't

Just got a comment on "Having Your Own Ethics is Lonely" by a reader. He asked one of the hardest questions about becoming successful - what happens when you're improving when your friends aren't?

I found this blog because I'm looking for advice. I've realized four years ago that I was unhappy with myself. I lived a poor, and dead end life. So I decided to look closely at my lifestyle and eliminate some bad habits and replace them with good ones. I also got a second job to make more money, and lived in relative poverty by choice. And it worked! I'm healthy financially and I've gotten a chance to learn anything I've wanted to know. I'm strong and smarter than I used to be. I think I know what God is, and everyday I work to be better than the day before. But, I can't connect with my old friends because they do all the things I dont want to be a part of any more, because they dont care to do well for themselves as much. In a way, to put it bluntly, they're not usefull to me. I'd rather make friends with people I truely admire and respect. I dont feel like I can tell them that I basically think they're bad people. They've done nothing to harm me personally, but I want nothing to do with them. What do you think?

Indeed, that's one of the hardest parts about becoming successful.

Most people don't like to change after they get established. If you improve quickly, it can upset and turn off old friends and cause breaks in friendship.

Perhaps the worst time is when you're still on a shaky ground with your old improvement. I remember one time, I was going through a super healthy kick. Lots of gym, weights, very clean and healthy diet. But with one of my buddies, we always ate junk food together when we got together. Pizza, chicken wings, burgers and fries, stuff like that.

Talking AND Doing

On New Blog

At first I was going to title this talking VS doing, but the whole point is that you need both.

I'm sure you've all heard "Don't talk the talk, walk the walk" or some variation of it, point being you need to follow through with your actions. "Actions speak louder than words" too.

And this is true for the most part. But you need both. You can't just rely on the doing, even moreso today than 50 years ago (of course I wasn't around 50 years ago so I could be mistaken).

Doing

In the vast majority of cases, a person should follow the traditional advice so they err on the side more doing, less talking. But, if you're smart or productive and have legit value to the world, often the doing isn't enough. In fact, the highly competent people could probably reverse the old sayings and turn out better.

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