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On Anger

Power grid went down in District 3 today just when I was connecting to the internet for a phone call. I gathered my things, packed up, and headed over to a cafe in D1 to make the call. My business partner there luckily had cleared two hours for the call, so we still covered everything.

I sat in this cafe for a while, but it was a little bit loud, so I decided to move to another cafe nearby. The place I moved was an American chain that serves weak coffee at high prices. Really, it's a bad choice of a cafe to go to for coffee's sake, but tends to be an excellent cafe for work environment. Normally there is quiet, ambient music playing, it's well lit, and there's plenty of space and power outlets.

So after I'd bought my expensive, weak coffee, and expensive, mediocre food, I headed upstairs to see some guys setting up audio equipment. Hmm.

One guy is testing some sort of mixing board or something, in short toot toot toots and feedback. This is a little bit annoying. I put some light music on so I can read, write, and do some work. The testing eventually stops and two guys come up with guitars.

They're playing and it's... not very good. They're all over the place, pretty uncohesive with their music. No transitions between songs or even genres. They played some Led Zeppelin, and then some country music, and then some Eric Clapton, and like, a lot of this is music I like, but you gotta transition through music for it to be decent.

A- in Spirituality

On Words & threads

My senior requirement at my Catholic high school is to take a semester of world religions and a semester of spirituality. I'm currently in the spirituality semester and I've found the class simplified, but the hour I spend there each day is a nice escape and a time to reflect. We watch movies, write, discuss, and meditate. I'm not sure how anyone could dislike it.

A classmate of mine, however, cannot stand it. She protests the teacher's assignments, calls the class "stupid" and questions why she needs to have any opinion on her views of divinity or her own past. It's not that she has some strong view of atheism or is some nihilist- this is purely disinterest and she lets it be known.

Disinterest in the collective beliefs of humanity, in the origins of the universe, in your place within it, and in your connection to the forces around you- this is something my mind cannot wrap around. Since a young age, I've asked the unanswerable questions that I'll keep contemplating. I've felt connected, I've felt disconnected. I accepted the wonder of reality and the unending pursuit of knowledge and rejected the beliefs and systems that have held me back. I've learned through my own intuition. My whole life is driven by a bigger, undefinable sense of my purpose and at the same time by my own insignificance. For those who stop asking questions and have found a belief set that explains it, all the power to them. I also think pure agnosticism is great, when people really accept the impossibility of figuring anything out. Pure disinterest, however, escapes me.

How can someone toss aside these essential questions of human existence? I see people all too often that ignore these feelings, dim their understanding of reality, out of fear or out of ignorance. I've had my phases, but I always come back to this sense of childlike wonder towards the universe. I've tried my hand at being Catholic, at nondenominational Christianity, and more recently, in embracing Buddhist practices. I've been more religious than so many so-called Catholics/Christians that I know. My sister will never reach the peak of Catholicism I was at at one point, yet still looks down at me for eventually rejecting it.

How would these people's lives change if they took some time to think about things? What, exactly, is more important? This is me ranting, but its been of greater interest to me recently. I'm happy that I've checked into a broader understanding of my life, and for those a little jaded by their daily worries, I can only hope they find the curiosity to expand their mindsets eventually.

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