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How to Avoid Exchange-Based Relationships

On this coming Monday or Tuesday, I'll be asking the Director of Sales and Marketing at one of the most prestigious local businesses for $100,000. I have all manner of charts, research, data, and numbers showing why this is an exceptionally good idea that will have a fantastic ROI - and it is a good deal. But still, it's mildly terrifying to present in that sphere.

Part of what I'm going to do is go in and ask for a considerable sum of money, but I'm trying to build a different sort of relationship than most people would think. If they choose my company, we'll be producing lots of good work for high pay - but I'm trying to build something other an exchange-based relationship.

What's an exchange-based relationship? Over the last 10 years or so, researchers have identified two kinds of ways trade and interact and cooperate. The first way would be through "market norms" - this is where two people clearly agree to make an exchange, and deliver what they agreed to exchange, and the deal is concluded. The second way is through "social norms" - where you're looking out for each other's best interests.

Let's go over quickly what market/exchange norms look like and how they push out social norms - then I'll have some ideas and guidelines for your own life.

If you like digging into primary source papers, this one from 1993 by Clark and Mills is pretty good. If you're more into books, this was covered in Dan Arielly's book "Predictably Irrational."

Video Promo for Exit/In Show on March 21

On Where Pianos Roam

A new thing I'll be doing this year will be promotional videos for shows and upcoming events.  Video and video editing is something I've wanted to take on for quite a while, and so, I am making baby steps toward that end. 

This past weekend I unveiled a little Promo video for my show this coming Sunday at the Exit/In in Nashville.  Many folks have never actually seen me perform live even though they may already have some of my songs.  So then, of course, my goal was simple:  to give people a taste what they might expect when they see me perform. 

I decided to play a song called "Arabesque".  It's probably the most classically-influenced piece I've written.  It's a challenge to play but a ton of fun. 

Heavy on the arpeggios and calling on my love for Russian and Baroque-style classical music, it's a fanciful little tune about a father expressing his pride over watching his son dance ballet and ultimately fulfill a life-long dream .  .  .

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