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Negotiating in Vietnam is a strange, strange thing

First off, quick refresher - what is negotiation?

Good negotiation is about discovering things you value a low amount that the other party values a high amount, finding things they value a low amount that you value highly, and exchanging. I wrote about this in "How to Avoid Exchange-Based Relationships" -

A lot of people don’t understand good negotiating. They think it’s about getting the best price – no, no, no. Good negotiation is about figuring out what you can offer that’s worth more to the other person than you, and what they can offer that’s worth more to you than them.


it’s okay to have pure exchanges sometimes, like if you’re just buying something once. But if you can transcend that, move it beyond the exchange and into looking out for each other, that can be a beautiful thing.

Internet Socialization is really Social Porn - Discuss

On The Tiny Octopus

Looks like you've got most of the bases covered for now. The only remaining concern I have is the difference between the internet and real life in terms of dealing with a person.

I consider the internet 'social porn' in a way because people can become objectified and used merely for social satisfaction. Consider this case - if you want to talk to your bf you can just turn Skype on and when you've had your fill of him you can just turn Skype off with no long lasting repercussions. In real life you just cannot 'turn off' people like you can on the internet. If you have an annoying friend/parent/teacher/co-worker/etc... and especially family member you will have to deal with them persistently. There is no way you can just click a button and make all of these people disappear from your life. Thus the internet presents an unreal depiction of social life in which one can take as long as they want to answer a question, log on/off whenever, and act in a manner inconsistent with one they can in real life with no consequences. If you two end up being together you will have to deal with him persistently. You will have to share personal space with each other and physical space, possibly assets, etc... If you are in a bad mood and don't want to talk/see him you may not be able to just turn him off from your life. These minor things have broken many so-called fairytale relationships.

Given the above internet relationships are a bit shy of 'the full experience' despite being able to see each other / hear each other / etc... with today's technology. One other good example of this concept is the 'awkward silence'. On the internet if you don't want to talk to a person any longer you just cut the conversation wherever it lies and that's that. No awkward silences implied as that is the nature of online communication. In real life there's many situations where you just can't "AFK" from a social situation. Thus without anything to talk about an uncomfortable awkward silence is created. This is the gripe I keep hearing from many of our older generations regarding youth today - that we don't know how to communicate properly. Being social is not 'social porn' as is taught today thru the internet given you can ignore people whenever you want and only talk to people you are interested in. In real life you will have to delve into topics that bore you excruciatingly and feign interest if you are trying to be social (doing otherwise proves incredibly offensive to the other party). In short - it is an exchange between two people - a sharing of two lives - and hopefully they intersect well to continue talking. The older generations probably don't care about your new tablet phone or what you did in school today but they will ask you as a courtesy of social communication. In return you're expected to ask about them and get a sense of how they are feeling even though you could probably care less. In real life a social conversation is an exchange. On the internet a social conversation is usually porn as it is selfish and satisfies only yourself with no lasting repercussion afterwards.

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