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Who are you to judge?!

What a strong negative connotation! Judging. Judging things, judging people, being judgmental... these are not pleasant things that polite and civilized people do... right?

But if judging is such a fault, perhaps we should learn what exactly it is. Hmm... I don't know exactly. Maybe Merriam-Webster can enlighten us:

Judge. Transititive verb. "to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises"

Hmm. That's... not what we expected, now is it? Judging is bad. But forming an opinion through careful weighing of evidence and testing premises... that doesn't sound so bad. Hmm.

What does that sound like to me?

Musings on Fear and Expectations

On DROdio

I may be one of the few people who would argue that much of the world revolves around fear and expectations, but let me try to present the argument to you.

First, the part on fear.

Fear plays a major, major role in all of our lives.  In fact, it's kind of like an invisible friend that follows you around wherever you go.  Every single decision you make has some element of fear attached to it.  When I say that, I mean that fear played some part in the decision making process.  While that may not be a huge deal, the huge deal is that we rarely acknowledge its participation in the decision making process.

Fear is like gravity.  It's always there, and we get used to it.  Fear sometimes spurs people into action, and other times withholds people from acting.

Like I said, every decision we make has an element of "fearsomeness" consideration. Do you turn left on the yellow light or wait?  What if a police man sees you?  What if you get hit?  But what if the car behind you thinks you're going to pull through the light and they hit you from behind?   All elements of fear.  That's an easy example, but what about the more subtle ways fear affects us. Some people grow up with parents that tell them 'you can be anything you want to be.'  Others have parents who say 'you have to be a doctor (or lawyer or XYZ) to carry on the family tradition.'  The fear that the child won't honor the heritage of the family dictates that whole person's life.  Imagine!  One simple emotion dictating a person's entire life.  If that's not deep-in-your-gut, mind blowingly significant I don't know what is.  And few people face their fears!  Instead we mask fear by other terms.  "She's just shy"  or "I'm just not good at [insert skill]."  For example, being a telesales representative is not an easy job.  I've rarely seen fear show its face so clearly as when you put a phone in front of someone and ask them to start cold-calling.  Few people can stand up to the constant rejection.   Oh, and how about public speaking?  How many people would rather die than speak in front of an audience (literally - studies show many people  would rather die!).

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