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A friend of mine set some goals for last week, and failed. His goals were realistic and possible, but he did not do them. He sent me an introspective email analyzing why. We had a good discussion on it, here's an excerpt of what I wrote him -


I understand. This really sucks. By the way, I still do this, myself. I still catch myself making the occasional fundamental mistake. The good thing is, no single mistake kills you (well, usually). Usually you can recover. Don't flip out when you a mistake, damage-control it and move on. How old are you - 28? You've got 10-15 years of mediocre societal programming, you don't get that out of yourself in seven days. 30 days, 60 days, you can take a huge chunk out of it. A year or two, absolutely you can almost completely re-wire yourself. But remember how you were saying, "Dude, I can do this so much faster than your timeline!" Well, I've been there. Shit like this happens. You're fighting some of your deepest, instinctual defense mechanisms to keep you alive. You've also got your toolbox of good instinctual mechanisms limited by society, so you're needing to create new tools. Basically, you've got all the disadvantages a caveman had (fear, nervousness, pressure), but you lose a lot of the advantages (unbridled, raw power, no rules, etc). You've got to make new tools - calmness, focus, intent. It takes a while. There's no shame in that - let me say this -


We're all built weak, man. Most people hide from it, deny it. That way they don't have to feel it. But you're diving right in, into your weakness, into your errors, into your unrefined patterns, into your fears... so you feel it. But don't mistake these things - these things are the weakness that everyone feels, there is NO SHAME in feeling it. It's part of being human. You need to feel it to conquer it. This is what I was writing in "Give me strife and suffering" -

I'm a woman and I'm not a feminist

On The Naughty Ostrich

Feminism is all the rage right now. If you are, you will be adorned and loved and if you're not then you'll be disgraced, shamed, shunned and eventually crucified ( think I'm exaggerating? I don't think so).

I'm not a feminist and proud that I'm not. You see feminism demands equality with men. As women we do so much more than men to be treated equally. As for respect we deserve more of that too. So the reason why I'm not a feminist is because I believe I deserve much more than to be treated equally as an asshole of a man at my work place and more respect from everybody especially men.

So before you go all campaigning for equality have a moment of self reflection to see your worth. If this is your ambition then I'm here to tell you that you have no ambition at all. Nor are you probably worth any respect from the opposite sex. Men are either our fathers who see us struggle, our brothers who are aware of our struggles, our significant other who know we struggle and our sons who we raise. They all know that we deserve more so settling for anything less is ripping out women's backbones everywhere.

Raise your standards ladies. And remember, to demand respect you must have self respect. Let's all treat each other right and stop degrading cat fights and back stabbing.. That's the job of Hollywood and politicians.

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