I'm reading "Reminiscences of a Stock Operator" and there's some absolute gold in the book. The author's attitude to what he's doing is broadly applicable to anyone in any probability-based endeavor that will sometimes fail and requires self-control to not go on tilt during -
It didn't take me long to realise that there was something wrong with my play, but I couldn't spot the exact trouble. There were times when my system worked beautifully, and then, all of a sudden, nothing but one swat after another. I was only twenty-two, remember; not that I was so stuck on myself that I didn't want to know just where I was at fault, but that at that age nobody knows much of anything.
The people in the office were very nice to me. I couldn't plunge as much as I wanted to because of the margin requirements, but old A.R. Fullerton and the rest of the firm were so kind to me that after six months of active trading I not only lost all I had brought and all that I had made there but I even owed the firm a few hundreds.
There I was, a mere kid, who had never before been away from home, flat broke; but I knew there wasn't anything wrong with me; only with my play. I don't know whether I make myself plain, but I never lose my temper over the stock market. I never argue with the tape. Getting sore at the market doesn't get you anywhere.
There's four points in that except that I really like -
1. "It didn't take me long to realise that there was something wrong with my play, but I couldn't spot the exact trouble." He's comfortable with uncertainty and knowing that he's ignorant, and yet, he's not sure why.
2. He calls it "play" - which wraps everything in the appropriate perspective and gravity.
3. "I knew there wasn't anything wrong with me; only with my play." He doesn't take it personally or let it affect his identity when he loses. The problem isn't him, it's his actions.
4. "I never argue with the tape. Getting sore at the market doesn't get you anywhere." He doesn't get emotional - he just adjusts and keeps moving forwards.
Hell of a read, too. Compelling narrative.
Reminiscences is highly recommended.
Got a long email from a reader with some great questions - he's a very impressive dude, but he has a hard time sticking with something for more than 1.5 to 3 years. If you have this trait as well, you might want to pay close attention to this post
And I have a real problem "falling in line" with the rest of society in a stable, consistent and "normal" life. I just feel like it's not me.
Yup, I know exactly how you feel. I've been in similar places. So have a lot of my friends. Some thoughts -
What I see as a recurring theme in my jump from job to job and industry to industry is my utter lack of real fulfillment. Don't get me wrong, I do have a temporary sense of fulfillment and meaning with the careers I have pursued, they just don't seem to last. Once I have focus on what it is that I want to do I am relentless in achieving it. For instance, after 3 years in the --- industry I have acquired the knowledge that many people don't achieve until 10, 12 or even 15 years in the industry. However, that life-cycle tends to be around 18-months, where I then become unfulfilled by the rate of learning and progress I am making. This ultimately leads to erratic behavior within the succeeding months and a feeling that I need to drop what I'm doing and move onto something else - whether that be a new job or a new career altogether.
Google the term "rage to master" - click around, read some summaries, and then check out a couple academic papers. It will be very worth your time.
In order to be happy, you need to be strong. When people are mean to you or they simply on't like you at all, you only need to remember the good things about life and those who really care about you. Emiline was not very happy in the fact that i got over them and i had moved on. She doesn't like to see me happy because she doesn't approve of my existing. When things get tough and you think that you have no friends and every break of the day at school is extremely long, there are people that you will find who actually like your presence.
In P.E, we had different options. Soccer, basketball, badminton or hockey off-ice. I liked soccer i was going to play soccer but soccer was organized with the bigger kids and i didn't feel like being judged from people who think i'm immature because it's my first year in high school. Badminton sucks because we've been playing it for a couple months now and basketball.... The girls were playing. I wasn't escaping my problem just choosing not to deal with it at the present moment. My brother plays hockey and he's a defense. So, i thought i could kick some hockey ass. I chose hockey off-ice and had the time of my life. My childhood friend, Isabella, invited me to be with her other two friends because we were playing with another class. I was the only girl in my class who had the guts to play hockey with the boys. I definitely have defense in my blood because i never let the puck get in the goal. I was mostly playing against my ex, Alexander, and he is a very competitive guy but he is the first guy who loved me like crazy.
I sadly messed up my chances with him but believe it or not, i'm starting to get emotions for him again. He loved me so much to the point of being so nervous, he couldn't eat. He told me himself, that's how i know. But there's this other guy, Finn. He is really nice with me and he's a very sweet guy. I'm officially stuck in a love triangle.