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"Son, as soon as someone puts their hands on you..."

I saw the article "Memoirs of a Bullied Kid" on the site Single Dad Laughing. It's written by a guy named Dan Pearce, and he seems like a hell of a guy. He's talking about raising his son, about accepting yourself, dealing with conflict, things like that. Pretty inspirational and good stuff.

The Memoirs of a Bullied Kid article must've taken a lot of guts to write, and I massively respect that. That said, I disagree with his conclusion on how to deal with violent bullies. So I want to send some praise and respect in his direction, but also some significant disagreement.

I originally wrote this as a comment for Hacker News, but it came out to about a normal post's length. Tone is more discussion site level than blog post level, but you'll get the gist of it -

"Son, as soon as someone puts their hands on you..."

This comment will be controversial, especially for North Americans and Western Europeans. I ask you to read it and think about it a moment before reacting, and comment if you disagree. I believe what I'm about to say is true, and I'm not trying to get a rise out of people - I want to fix some problems with society.

I'm nice

On Shut Up and Take My Hand

I'm nice. I'm socially 'nice'.

So in the society we live in, there are loads of little things, little lies that are viewed as being 'nice'. Lets start with really simple things - being polite. 'Could you please...?' 'Thank you' 'Would you mind if...?' Everyone should be polite to everyone else, whether or not you respect them its like the social interaction 0 state. You're polite to the people you tolerate, nasty to the people you hate and sweet to the people you like. Well, mostly.

And there's different ranges of politeness, for example, you're expected to be more polite to people who are older than you or of a higher status than you. Though I wouldn't say I agree with being polite to older people just cuz they're older, I do agree with being more polite - more respectful to the people of higher 'status' than you. Be that teachers, leaders, the glorious person who brings you your food at restaurants :p

Next point is about conversation. Most of the people that I interact on a daily basis talk about a certain range of things. So the guys I talk with mostly talk with me about girls/working out/music and the girls I talk to mostly talk with me about school/home/music/anime+manga. But then there are those few people that I talk to about shit I honestly don't give a fuck about: clothes/boys/youtubers

So if it doesn't interest me, why do I still talk with them about it? Well cuz I'm 'nice'. Its expected of you to show interest in the daily/personal life of the person you are conversing with: 'How was your day?' 'Do you like~~?' yep, you know what I mean. Small talk. Or more so, they get all into it: 'OMG he's so cute!! He talked to me today omg omg omg!!! and you're just there like: Mhm that's great...

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