Question from a reader -
I often compare my life to others, especially to successful persons.
It doesn't do any good to me. I feel such an injustice and get angry
Even if rationally I know that it's stupid and that there are people
who got a way harder life than myself.
Do you know how to deal with that ?
I also compare myself to other people, but I try not to make value judgments. I go, "Okay, he's good at sales. I'm not so good at sales. Do I want to be good at sales like him? If so, I should ask how he learned and get book recommendations from him, and read them, and follow any advice he gives me." Or I say, "Ah, this guy knows a lot about design and I'm weak in that area. Do I want to be good at design...? Hmm, no, not really. You can't be good at everything and that's one I don't want to be good at. Okay, but he's good at it, maybe I could hire him or partner with him if I had a task that required great design and something I'm good at." Or, "Hey, this guy is superbly dressed, he really stands out. Huh, I think I dress well but he looks sharper than me. Let me observe and see what he's doing, perhaps I can learn from him."
I think the bad feelings aren't because of comparing yourself to others, which is fine and basically everyone does it. But rather it's likely because you compare yourself to others and then feel bad that you're not where they're at, and/or you don't feel like you could get where they're at. So I wouldn't recommend ceasing to compare yourself (everyone does this to some extent), but rather to use comparison in a way that's beneficial to you. IE, look for ways you can improve, work together, mutually gain, etc. This requires less value judging and more calm, rational analysis.
Hope that helps.
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