It may seem obvious that you should try to lift up your friends, but are you LIVING it every day?
Are you sometimes being a crypto-crab because you can't stand the ego blow of your friends rising up in life?
Are you 100% always cheering your friends on to achieve more? Are you actively helping them find opportunities? Are you being ever-vigilant in pointing out their follies and mistakes? Would you never for a second entertain the thought of letting your friends stagnate at a comfortable level?
Selfishness is often a good motivator in life, so what is a selfish reason to help your friends?
Remember the old adage that you are the average of your 5 closest friends?
Well, if you TRULY believe that with all your heart, doesn't that also mean that by lifting up your friends you are directly helping YOURSELF? By setting your friends up for success, are you not in fact righting the world and putting positives in the karma kickback account?
Suck on that for a good while...
I been sucking on this for a while. Win-win for everybody! A better world!
As a bonus, more invites to all kinds of parties in actors/business/artists/foodies circles. The selfish reason though, it makes me really happy to help people. That's one intrinsic trait that I believe people have.
Just got a comment on "Having Your Own Ethics is Lonely" by a reader. He asked one of the hardest questions about becoming successful - what happens when you're improving when your friends aren't?
I found this blog because I'm looking for advice. I've realized four years ago that I was unhappy with myself. I lived a poor, and dead end life. So I decided to look closely at my lifestyle and eliminate some bad habits and replace them with good ones. I also got a second job to make more money, and lived in relative poverty by choice. And it worked! I'm healthy financially and I've gotten a chance to learn anything I've wanted to know. I'm strong and smarter than I used to be. I think I know what God is, and everyday I work to be better than the day before. But, I can't connect with my old friends because they do all the things I dont want to be a part of any more, because they dont care to do well for themselves as much. In a way, to put it bluntly, they're not usefull to me. I'd rather make friends with people I truely admire and respect. I dont feel like I can tell them that I basically think they're bad people. They've done nothing to harm me personally, but I want nothing to do with them. What do you think?
Indeed, that's one of the hardest parts about becoming successful.
Most people don't like to change after they get established. If you improve quickly, it can upset and turn off old friends and cause breaks in friendship.
Perhaps the worst time is when you're still on a shaky ground with your old improvement. I remember one time, I was going through a super healthy kick. Lots of gym, weights, very clean and healthy diet. But with one of my buddies, we always ate junk food together when we got together. Pizza, chicken wings, burgers and fries, stuff like that.
For the past year or so I've made an effort not to socialize. Sounds weird, but I figured that the only way I could really see just how much I could focus on SETT would be to cut out everything, even things that seemed somewhat important.
If really good friends invited me to something that seemed like it would constitute quality time, as opposed to just not-being-bored-time, I would go as an exception. Through those infrequent occasions, I'd meet new people once in a while. And sometimes these new people were just so amazing that I couldn't help but become friends with them, too.
For the first few years in San Francisco, I felt like I had tons of acquaintances, but only a few really good friends, and even those friends were people I knew before moving here. Even some of the people I hung out with a lot were just acquaintances-- our friendships never deepened, and when they moved away it didn't really feel like a loss.
Now I feel like I have no acquaintances and a lot of really good friends. There are a few people I hang out with who aren't really good friends yet, but it feels like things are moving in that direction.