I'm going to start working out and eating right, I just need to read all these websites on training & nutrition first.
I'm going to work on my coding project, I just need to close down all these tabs first.
I'm going to call my dad more, I just need less stress in my life first.
I'm going to approach more women, I just need to read more about inner game first.
I'm going to study for my exam, I just need to reorganize my desk first.
By putting Y before X, we are stalling and not getting momentum. There are some cases where preparatory action is actually warranted, but most situations aren't like that.
What would happen if we turned these around?
I'm going to start working out and eating right, and I will do research as I get more momentum.
I'm going to work on my coding project now, and then I can read Reddit in the glow of victory.
I'm going to call my dad right now, and that will make it more likely that I call him again tomorrow regardless of my stress level.
I'm going to say something to a girl, and that will give me reference experiences that I can hook up to inner game theory later.
I'm going to study for my exam right now, my desk won't bother me nearly as much after I get through some pages.
We get momentum, AND whatever was bothering us will seem easier. All it takes is a few minutes of mild pain as we force our brain to focus.
Oh btw, here's a crazy thought: what if all those evasive "I have to do this first" actions are actually a form of cognitive pica? What if your mind is telling you to do Y but what it really wants is for you to do X. Think about it...
I'm thrilled that Tynan is coming to you with two things -- first, he's offering a breakthrough session through GiveGetWin. It's geared around doing more of the kind of excellent work you want to do, becoming more internally focused with your emotions, having a more enjoyable life, building great habits, and producing a lot of value in the process. There's five spots, so check it out now.
Second, we have this wonderful tour-de-force interview: it starts by covering how Tynan made the shift from unfocused to focused, how to derive internal enjoyment from things, useful actionable exercises you can do right now, Tynan's method and mindset for producing creative work consistently, how to set up great habits and an excellent mental and physical work environment, and how to make blogging work and similar endeavors work for you.
Total Focus; Total Enjoyment by Tynan, as told to Sebastian Marshall
When I turned 30 and I had a minor freak out… I thought, "I'll be 40 in not long, and then 50… there's things I want to do in my life, and they're not happening at this pace."
Before that, I had a general idea of things I wanted to do and have in my life, but I went about in an unstructured way. It was good in a lot of ways. It made be a broad process, but not much depth.
A week ago I posted 5 goals I had for the first week in May. How did I do?
Practice being a better listener in my marraige.
This was the goal that I was most happy I made but least happy with my initial performance. I am lucky to be married because my listening skills at the beginning of the week were awful. Like some surly teenager I yelled across the house, kept my head down, didn't make eye-contact, didn't ask follow-up questions, and may as well have been licking my butt-hole like the dog I was. It was clear that I needed to work on this goal, I did and I'm much better. Like an overweight person loosing their first few pounds or someone learning to say hola and adios in Spanish I made some strides very quickly.
The best way to do this was to physically put down whatever I had in my hands. Kindles go down on the armrest and knife on the cutting board. I took a moment to look and listen at my wife while she was talking and that made a big difference. I also found out a few things I never knew about her which should be a more regular occurance. She - somehow - lived 23 years without me and almost 8 with me, there is a lot I can still learn about her.
This was the easiest goal of the group because I had so much improvement to make, the ease of just looking at her - she's a looker - and because I really enjoyed listening. This is my favorite person in the entire world, the one I chose to be with FOREVER. She deserved better and this past week she got it.