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24 Hours of Training Per Day

"Everything is training."

I sat on the floor in Chiba with Marcus and Rob, both expert martial-artists, biomechanists, and entrepreneurs.

Most people don't and can't understand why you'd analyze, re-engineer, and repeat doing a small action over and over again to make it slightly better. But these guys got it. "Everything is training," as Rob says.

And it strikes me that there's the core things you're trying to achieve, the skill and habit-building that gets you there, and that two are very harmonious. In terms of producing more, the best training is often immediately applying what you've learned in an attempt to produce.

What is the rest of life, then, except the time that facilitates doing what's most important to us?

So it took this long

On Shut Up and Take My Hand

but finally I'm getting somewhere with my stupid therapist. Now don't get me wrong I still abhor her and I don't see it as helping me with my depression at all but hey at least I can say that to some extent these sessions are becoming more liveable.

I hate going to the sessions for two (or more) reasons. I hate talking about my emotions. Especially to someone I don't like and don't trust. And I hate the fact that its so *open* - as in, if she things its of importance, she can tell my parents or school or whatever. And ok *insert legal shit here* but eeeh. Its uncomfortable for me.

Anyways, after todays session and months and months of other sessions, it finally feels like we're getting somewhere in our doctor-patient relationship. She's finally caught on to the fact I don't like and don't trust her (slow much?) and after a conversation today, she's now "taking steps" to improving the way I view her. Which wont happen. But still.

In all honesty, I don't actually see much point in this therapy thing, other than it gets people off my back. Like my parents and the teachers at school, I guess its just a price to pay to get them to shut up for a few minutes. Only a few minutes though.

So these past few sessions, instead of just talking about depression and emotions and shit, we've started talking about random things I like. For example drawing. I showed her a few of my drawings and we talked about that for a bit and anime as well. Which wasn't all too bad, but me being paranoid and guarded, I couldn't help but be constantly thinking "so what's all this for then?"

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