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Carpe Diem

A light blue dusk, turning green trees slowly into darkened silhouettes.

Red walls, yellow lights in the cafe... front wall of glass, China outside. The large bay doors showing that light blue dusk.

Working on a brushed-metal thin laptop, encased in a smooth clear plastic protective case. My fingers click-clicking satisyingly on the keys.

1990's rap music plays in the white headphones, transmitted from the computer... the music is streaming from Youtube, accessed through a VPN connection to bypass the Great Firewall.

Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome to you All the way from the slums of Shaolin Special uninvited guests Came in through the back door Ladies and gentlemen, it's them!

Be responsible for your passive aggression

On Alan's Journey

Men with debilitating passive aggression in their relationships usually find it's because of their inability to accept responsibility. This makes healing that much more difficult. You can't heal it if you think you're not responsible for it.

The best thing I did to help me 'get over' my PA behaviour was to make a conscious decision to accept responsibility for every emotional incident I was involved in, even if it seemed obvious that I wasn't and couldn't be responsible for it. I had to accept that I WAS responsible for it, even if I didn't know how.

You see, the most common trait of a PA is that they refuse to accept responsibility, always denying their responsibility and finding blame in everything but themselves.

It's usually true that if someone gets angry at you, then something you've done has contributed to them getting angry.

People don't just spontaneously get angry without cause, but those with passive aggression often think they do, because they can't accept their own responsibility towards it. They don't want to be responsible for someone else's anger because that responsibility is what they were punished for when they were a child.

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