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Slow Deliveries of Creativity and Accomplishments

I've grudgingly and gradually come to realize that, in the long term, a person's life is a lot more like an aircraft carrier than speedboat.

This is perhaps why short-term motivation can't get the job done. To turn an aircraft carrier, you need miles of room out at sea, plenty of fuel, plenty of timing, and you need to coordinate with very many staff people on the ship and any pilots up in the air.

"I want to do better writing" -- this wish is almost always answered for me, but not promptly. It's like I've put in an order to an Amazon.com of Creativity and Achievement, but chose the slow free Super Saver Shipping.

Sure enough, a week or two later, my writing will start improving. Better ideas will come; perhaps my subconscious was working them for the entire 7-14 days, beginning very subtle movements and firing of engines and re-doing schedules so that the aircraft carrier can imperceptibly begin turning.

But I notice that, when I'm rapidly changing objectives and not seeing things through to completion, it's like I'm missing the deliveries as they come; I'm out-running my own resources; I'm running faster than things can be achieved.

Deeper Understanding

On Standing Deeper

Whatever I'm doing, it's not working.

Here I am; 34, in serious debt to the IRS, fresh off a break-up and I work in the morning and it's 5am.

And I'm blogging.

Ya see, like many of you, I'm sure, I have so many things I want to learn about and do; eat Paleo, exercise more and better, learn new languages, computer programming and brain training, meditate every day to stop the feeling of your life casually passing you by... And like some of you, I believe, I end up doing very little. I want to live a more minimalist lifestyle but I'm buried under stuff. I shop for healthy food and it rots in the fridge. I tell myself how important rest is but here I am in front of my computer at 5am.

I know there's a better way, I've read about it. I can see this better version of me but I just can't seem to live up to it. Really kills me inside. The worst part about it is the vicious cycle aspect; inaction leads to depression leads to inaction. Maybe you've felt the same thing?

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