It was one of those days where I felt like I got hit with a truck.
It's the first day I cut my caffeine consumption this low (200mg, from 400mg). The day was stacked with high leverage calls, and I had a reasonably large amount of work to do besides it. I dropped my normal routine of going for a light walk to a Chinese restaurant to eat and write followed by the gym, and instead choose to run the stairs at the apartment building and stay in to save time.
That might have been a mistake -- caught up inside all day, lower caffeine than baseline, moderately low sleep, stacked day...
Around 8PM (with my next call to wake up for at 4AM), I started to say to myself, "You know, maybe I'm just not feeling it right now. I've got 90 to 150 minutes of more work to do, at least, but maybe it'd be smart to sleep... I've felt flat all day, maybe I'm coming down with something. Maybe..."
--but then I realized I was having "The Quitting Conversation."
And I dropped that line of thinking, finished my work, and I'm now going to bed -- quite proud.
"Quitting starts as a reasonable conversation." -- Former Navy SEAL Richard Machowicz -- "And it's all true, and all reasonable. It's unreasonable not to quit."
The whole speech of Richard Machowicz Sebastian refers to (as he also did in the video post a week ago) is powerful, and you might be interested in watching it:
I need to start managing my time, I probably have more of these days than I care to admit. I tend to work till I drop, then oversleep or get sick...
This is one of the hard things for me. I definitely have "power through it" days, and they're awesome when they happen. It's just too easy for me to have two in a row, then one "nearly but failed" willpower day and then be burned out and have to take recovery time.
Sometimes I really *am* just not feeling it. It's hard to tell when I can get away with powering through and when I can't. Getting better with practice, though!
100% true. It's not so bad to occasionally run into your limits though, as long as you're not doing damage. Part of being a top performer is to research and learn what's required for rest and rejuvenation, and then learning your limits over time -- which occasionally means hitting them and falling short. Balancing act, though, and not always easy.
Day Twenty-Six turned out to be incredible.
Lately, I've been working a practical process to get into "High Creative Mode" -- I think has a high hit-rate for getting into that Mode, but I'm not able to consistently execute it. D26, I did --
Strange opening to the day. Didn't sleep on the 15th to force-normalize my sleep schedule.
Woke up at 12:30AM after roughly 8 hours -- earlier than I expected, but I felt awake and refreshed.
First 90 minutes of day I spent reading, answered a couple emails, surfed the net, had water and coffee, was a little groggy. I'm waking up now.
From my high horse of self employment, I have stepped into the mud to play with the employed commonfolk. I mentioned a couple times earlier that I was considering getting a real job, but I didn't want to get into details until it actually happened.
Quitting gambling came abruptly, so I didn't have a solid backup plan in place. There's the ebook I wrote and this blog, but neither makes close to enough to constitute a living. For a few months I wandered, considering different options, but didn't find anything I love.